fred’s ark


right, emzara, have you found any of those chupacabra’s yet?

no? well that’s what we’ll go as then…..oh i don’t know…..a small bear with spines running down it’s back, nothing too noticeable

must remember to tick the ‘clean’ box; are betty and george definitely coming because we’ll stick out like a sore thumb if there’s only five of us?

japheth, we’ll need more shovels!

shem, look at these drawings; door or window?

ham, find fred and let him know we’re subbing this out to his lot

and can someone please tell me how long a bloody cubit is!

Leave a comment


  1. Love it…I was confused by the names until ‘and can someone please tell me how long a bloody cubit is!’ and it all clicked. Lovely stuff.

  2. Loved it. I wonder how much of the Ark Noah did in fact send out for sub-contracting? 🙂

    ‘ere be my attempt:

  3. Haha, it took a little while. The formatting is a little strange(no quotes, etc.), but I love the idea . Here’s mine 🙂

    • the previous one had quotes…..i don’t like to make things easy; thank you for persevering and loving the idea

  4. It sounds busy and a bit stressful where they are! I enjoyed reading it. Hope they make it through the floods.

    • there have been sightings of the chupacabra but nothing concrete; i’d like to think they tricked god

      glad you enjoyed it

  5. joannalazuliportals

     /  18 May, 2012

    Haha, interesting take, and amusing too.

    Ours is here:

  6. An Ark contracted out to the lowest bidder. Wonder if that happened the first time around. Think what we might be missing in the animal kingdom. Lovely story told with tight, sparse dialog. Well done.



    • these are actual quotes from the time of the original ark….i found them etched into a rock at the bottom of my garden

  7. Ha ha ha! I love this take on the prompt. A modern day ark in the making. Noah would be turning in his grave or would he be tickled? Mine is here:

    • i think he might be annoyed that his secret is out; this is actually what happened you see

      glad you liked it

  8. TheOthers1

     /  18 May, 2012

    LOL. I mean, if you’re struggling to DIY, why not contract parts of it out. Noah only had so much time to get it done. 😉

    My attempt:

    • i’ve heard god’s a pretty hard task master though, ‘not enough time,’ just don’t cut it

  9. Nice one, as usual. It’s the length from the elbow to the tip of the finger in case anyone was wondering. Convincing voice here, and as ever I learnt something new. Chupacabra means ‘goat sucker’. 😦 It’s as well they didn’t find any.


  10. Loved it! I work for the military and we subcontract out EVERYTHING! Nice to know we are honoring a long and storied tradition! 🙂

  11. That was deliciously obscure. It took me a minute to figure it out. Then I remembered all those ‘who begat so and so’ parts of the bible, and I put it together with the title, and a light dawned.

  12. Love it! It took me a while to figure out it was Noah talking. The cubits clued me in.

    Mine is here:

    • glad you liked it; i do have a head start in that i know exactly what’s going on, but i think all the information’s there….

  13. Light, amusing, believable dialog. One of the most entertaining reads this week.


    • thank you wakefield mahon, apologies for taking so long in getting back to you, you’d been spammed! and not in a good way

  14. I was seeing Fred standing there, cell phone to ear, making his calls. Good one.

    • there are a couple of hints to noah yes….it’s basically noah not really wanting to build the ark as it’s too much trouble so wants to subcontract it out to fred’s lot; but he may get in to trouble with god for shirking, so is going through the list of animals he’s been given for one that can’t be found, he’ll then get his wife to make them all costumes of the ‘missing’ animal – ticking the ‘clean’ box as seven of each clean animal were taken on the ark – and they’ll stow aboard that way…..true story

      • are you old enough to have heard the bill cosby routine about noah and the ark?

      • i used to watch the cosby show when i was younger but i’ve never seen any of his stand up

      • yeah, this was 70’s stuff.

      • i’ll definitely try and track it down, just as soon as i can get to a computer that has sound

  15. Your cranium must be prnoectitg some very valuable brains.


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